Haley
My first teacher on being a granddaddy
By Lonnie Adamson
Haley became our first granddaughter, but we knew she was ours even before that.
She is the daughter of Scott, the man that Nancy’s daughter -- thankfully OUR daughter – Olivia, married.
That developing relationship between the adults is a good place to start this story.
Olivia, after ending a succession of trial runs, had sworn off dating for a time.
OK, I thought. We’ll see about that.
Scott and Haley’s mother had Haley early in life. The marriage didn’t last. Scott focused his time on the very young daughter, learning about her care when he had custody of her and taking her on adventures. One of his greater attributes is an ability to find an adventure in the simplest of places.
He knew how to support his daughter, working determinedly, consistently, daily, building a future for them.
When Scott and Olivia came together, Olivia was beginning a work life as an educator, sans men.
Scott messaged her on social media. They had known of one another in high school.
OK so this guy has good eyesight, I thought. What else?
“Would she go out for coffee?” he inquired.
Ever polite, she responded that maybe she would go to coffee when she returned from a family trip.
But really, she thought:
He was nothing she had her mind set on.
Manual laborer, divorced, child.
“No thank you,” she told her mother.
He remained persistent.
Olivia’s mother encouraged her to just talk to him face to face. You said you would, her mother said.
The coffee date turned into good discussions, bowling, laughter, late into the night.
But there was no pressure, just a good time.
He remained persistent. She accepted persistence. One of Olivia’s beauties is that she can be open-minded, open to change carefully, lovingly. That attribute has worked for her.
Our meeting with a 7-year-old Haley was immediately engaging. She was talkative, interested, and interesting in a way that seemed built on valuable experiences she had from her parents.
As time went on, those influences of her parents showed themselves more.
Her traveling experiences with her father seem to have cultivated a natural curiosity, allowing her to speak knowledgeably on broad-ranging topics.
Haley and Nancy developed a close relationship. They began to share interests.
The girl would help me work on projects when she visited. Once, when she was helping build a coop for our chickens, I could not visualize how to attach a roost across the width of the coop.
She saw an easy solution of connecting across a corner.
It became evident that she had a natural gift. Her brain was wired to engineer solutions to problems.
Later, she helped me assemble a table for Nancy’s sewing room from a box of table parts. Again, I would study instructions, turn the pieces this way and that, unable to see the solution.
“Here,” a 10-year-old Haley said, sitting on the floor underneath the table pieces. “It goes here. Do you have the Phillips-head screw driver?”
Then, constructing the first sandbox for her siblings, I could not visualize the pieces as she sat on the back steps watching my confusion. I was frustrated with my inability.
She suggested a placement of the sandbox parts
“No that can’t be,” I said in an unkind tone.
After more of my unsuccessful fiddling, she stepped over and used her vision to put the pieces together in what I came to see was the obvious answer. It was the same idea she first suggested.
“I’m sorry Haley. You were right,” I said. “You are smart.”
“I am smart,” she said.
Great. She has ability and a quiet confidence in the face of a frustrated old guy.
That is powerful and a good sign for her future.
I am proud.