Anna Kate

Brand new baby, brand new granddaddy, brand new life

Anna Kate and The Unexpected Granddaddy on their first day of babysitting. Mommie has gone back to work.

By Lonnie Adamson

If you are ever bored, you might try moving into a new home and taking over daytime care of a new grandbaby in the same week.

It can be exhausting and exhilarating all at once.

Remember from my intro that I have never been caregiver for any human let alone a defenseless baby. There have been times in my life when I failed to do a good job managing myself.

Scott and Olivia trusted me with their brand-new baby, Anna Kate (AK). To be certain, when we struck the deal, they probably believed Nancy -- newly re-named Lovey by the grandchildren - would be the guiding force, and I would serve as backup. “Surely he can fetch fresh diapers when Lovey needs to change the diapers or prepare the bottle,” Olivia thought, I am sure.

Lovey and I were full-time real estate agents at the time. The job offers flexibility to handle grandchild care but also offers surprises – like a new customer who needs to see a million dollar lake home this afternoon.

So – new home, new baby, new real estate client, wet behind the ears granddaddy who has changed three diapers his entire life and never prepared a bottle. He does know CPR though.

Baby Preparation: The morning of the arrival, I remember that I need to strap the car seat into Lovey’s car – in the pitch blackness. “Now where is that flashlight in the midst of all these boxes we set in the living room from the move? Maybe this was not the best idea,” I thought.

Waffling, I thought, “No sir. This has to happen. AK needs you. This is your chance. Granddaddies everywhere do this when called to duty.”

Granddaddy advice 1: Never, ever wait until hours before needed to install a car seat the first time. Read the instructions. No you can’t just wing it. If possible, have a competent person instruct. Unless you have done it correctly at least five times, you are not competent. I don’t care how many engines you have re-built. This is different. It is more complicated than assembling a wall cabinet from Ikea… when you only have the instruction manual in Swedish.

Yes, I know you rode standing between your parents. I did too.

Your instructions may vary -- Feed the belt through this slot, over to this slot, be sure to run the belt under this steel bar. Rotate the seat so the leveling ball sits here; then click, click. Pull the belt adjustment until seat fits snuggly against the seat and seat back. Success. The sun is coming up. You feel you have conquered the world.

Lovey inspects. “Noooo!!!!!,” she says. “She’s a baby!!!!! The seat HAS to face the rear.”

Corrections are made and Lovey blasts off to meet Olivia for the baby swap at the QT convenience store near Olivia’s workplace.

Baby Arrival: Shortly, Baby AK arrives along with a completely stocked diaper bag. That is the kind of mom Olivia is – diapers, wipes, bottles, the required number of the frozen breast milk packets plus one emergency frozen packet, special rattle, alternative toy, snuggly toy, blanket. The side pocket holds the baby instruction sheet including times of feeding, nap times, anticipated diaper changes, bottle prep instructions.

Granddaddy advice 2:Never ever think these instructions are too much. The mother has just spent three months working out the schedule for this creature. Each step of the process is critical. No, the process will not work perfectly. The baby is not at home, and she knows it. You are NOT MOMMY and the baby knows it. You don’t look like mommy, sound like mommy, smell like Mommy or cuddle like mommy. YOU ARE NOT MOMMY. You will have to work out your own solution ultimately.

Execution Part 1: Day one for AK and me. Kept her alive and basically happy. It led to many relaxing days together. I really handled the standard stuff ok. When it comes down to it and this precious thing needs me, I can follow instructions, change diapers, warm the milk, remember to burp by bouncing and back patting,

Granddaddy advice 3: Remember during burping, she is the one bouncing, not you. She is the one burping, not you. (Save the burping lessons for her younger brother.)

Execution Part 2: I was smart enough to set up the crib in advance. Being frugal, we had purchased it second hand and assembled it without an instruction book following verbal instructions from a perfectly accomplished granddaddy who knew how to assemble a crib blindfolded. We were only missing a few nonessential parts. I sanitized the crib because AK is the first baby, the princess and because I was instructed to.

The absence of mommy became apparent shortly after the initial shock wore off and Lovey conveniently disappeared to work.

I had to think quickly to overcome the squalling. Panic set in… on me. AK was already around the corner past panic and into another realm. “Maybe this was not the best idea,” I thought to myself. “No sir,” I said to myself. “This has to happen. AK needs you. This is your chance. Granddaddies everywhere do this when called to duty.”

I reverted to what had comforted me earlier in life. No, not bourbon. Rocking. Like with your grandmother in her ancient rocking chair. That slowed the squalling to tears and periodic cries, but quickly wore off. Movement was advised by other, more experienced people. AK and I walked around the living room, with her looking over my shoulder, as we stepped around boxes, open boxes, partially unpacked boxes of dishes and family pictures. We created a path through the boxes to get from bedroom to kitchen to living room.

Eventually my movement bored her, so I turned her facing outward. Seeing the world from that angle helped. Then eventually that was not enough. Was the diaper wet? According to this kid’s instruction sheet, no feeding was allowed yet.

Music. I love Al Green, so we danced to the Reverend Al and ‘Let’s Stay Together,’ ‘Love and Happiness,’ ‘People Get Ready.’ And then ‘Love Train,’ by the O’Jays. Loud!!!! Those brought smiles and eventually bottle time, poop time and nap time. That is the cycle we look for, we experienced granddaddies -- bottle time, poop time and nap time. Repeat.

Granddaddy advice 4: Bottle time was easy but required thawing the milk and warming it perfectly. Poop time happened on schedule. The first diaper change required more prep. Having things laid out is critical to avoid leaving the baby alone on the changing table or in my case, end of the bed. Your disposable diapers will likely tell what is front and back, You just have to look. Fasten snuggly. If you are using cloth diapers – good luck.

Nap time for AK and me the first time was a bit disruptive. There were lots of tears. Simply being flung into the crib did not work, so I tried cuddling this way and that. Ultimately it came down to me sinking low in a comfortable chair with her turned toward me on my shoulder. She seemed to really like a low baritone of ‘Ol Man River,’ from the musical ‘Showboat.’ It was a trick my father used with his three boys. She also appreciated the soft baritone of ‘Swing Low Sweet Chariot.’

That’s some good times y’all.